Wash Dishes Together.

There’s always a lot of buzz around cooking at home right now.

Obviously you get all the good smells, the tastes, the satisfaction of making/following recipes, and of course, the mountains of #foodporn to post all over your instagram later.

But today, I want to celebrate washing those dishes you just painstakingly created and plated. Particularly, I’m rooting for the timeless art of washing dishes together, my favorite underdog.

I grew up with dozens of cousins. Dozens.

Every weekend, like clockwork, my family would gather for dinners, birthday parties, you name it. Frequently, the younger cousins would be put on dish duty.

Some would dread it, but others actually would do a really good job of jumping to the task, immediately eager to begin divvying up the work. It was important for us to ensure that those who cooked weren’t stuck washing the dishes. A little shared responsibility goes a long way.

And let the record state that I didn’t grow up with a dishwasher, so we avoided soap armageddon, and without an automated wash/rinse/dry cycle, we actually had to create discrete responsibilities for each step in the process.

Needless to say, I really and sincerely appreciate the art of cleaning up together. It’s easy for our family or friends or colleagues to invite us over to cook together. Cooking together brings no strings attached by default. But there’s there’s no societal consensus over whether we’re expected to stay and clean together.

Washing dishes together is where the real social glue begins to take hold.
You learn how you really live.
You learn where big spoons go.
You learn whether big spoons even have a home.
Importantly, you learn who’s responsible for knowing where that home is.
You also realize—almost cathartically — that no one in the world has properly matching tupperware.
You discover each other’s habits and mental models around efficiency, cleanliness, and cabinet organization.
Cleaning up together can be a weirdly, yet satisfyingly vulnerable experience.

Some families (and entire societies) may actually consider it insulting to expect your guests to clean up after themselves, let alone clean up alongside the hosts. Conversely, some cultures consider this the ultimate form of respect.

I believe that washing dishes in small groups — with partners, siblings, friends, and cousins — teaches important lessons in teamwork while also serving the function of getting chores done (busy adults take note).

There may even be optimal ways to wash dishes!
Perhaps an assembly line approach?
Or maybe working together to identify who has the comparative advantage in various dishwashing tasks?
If the person drying the dishes is very slow and only has an ineffective towel, the person washing dishes may opt to also rinse. A separate person may be delegated to put dishes away, or the original dish washer and dish dryer can collaborate to put everything away in one fell swoop.
Big meals make for big learning experiences.

I have a weirdly enchanting history with dish washing.

I was brought up in a household where my mom was very encouraging about it. She made dishwashing an activity we could look forward to together. She seemed to enjoy the “washing” station of dish washing, while I was a superior dish dryer and stacker, thanks to my many years playing with Legos and Linkin’ Logs. I served in my role as dish dryer / stacker as dutifully as I could, and quite enjoyed the experience of challenging the water droplets to evaporate as quickly as I could.

I tried to learn the love language of each and every dish and utensil. Some dishes prefer a nice toweling to aid their water droplets’ escape. Some water droplets preferred to cling onto the dish or hide in crevices, hoping to stick around and find a new home even as their brethren began disappearing into the ether like Westworld robot hosts vanishing into their digital promised land.

Wash 🚿 dishes 🍽 together 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦.
Encourage others to do the same.
Encourage your friends to challenge their kids to wash the dishes. Be creative and see what happens. Gamify it.
Challenge them to do it in record times (with minimum breakage of priceless family glassware).
Challenge them to challenge one another on TikTok and their social platforms of choice. Hell, start a global quarantine challenge around dish washing.
Right now, of all times, we need something lighter of heart to rally around while we’re stuck at home in the throes of pandemic.

After perfecting the art of washing dishes together, we can unlock the subtle joys of washing dishes alone.

We can give our partners, parents, friends, or loved ones the gift of saying, “You go and read the book I know you’re excited about. I’ll take care of the dishes tonight.”

As the dish doer, I must admit that this gesture, while certainly a beautiful act of service and gift of your time, is also a beautiful opportunity-in-disguise for you. When opting for a solo round of dish washing, I love to pop in my favorite podcast or dance jams, close my eyes to the world for the next half hour or so, and practice the delightful meditative art of optimizing my personal skills in each dish washing domain!

In washing dishes alone, you can be your own kitchen superhero.

But please still endeavor to #washdishestogether.

In times of pandemics, social lockdowns, and isolation, you can still, despite living alone, #washdishestogether.

Pop in some wireless earbuds, call up your bestie or a friend you haven’t heard from in a while, and chat — hear their actual voice — and pass the time together. Schedule it if you need to. For the love of god, for years we have been paying money to watch strangers eat dinner on the internet. We have even begun watching strangers’ pets eat dinner. “Mukbang” is very real. Loneliness is very real. Mental health is very real. Friendship, too, is very real.

So, whether you’re bunkered down with friends, with family, with roommates, with a partner, or just your own creative, wonderful self, call up someone you know and #washdishestogether.

PS — What are your favorite dishwashing methodologies? Please send them my way. I may want to feature them in a future post.
For instance, I get the largest, flattest items out of the way first. They stack most nicely in the dish rack, and could otherwise block the drain if left in the rinsing area. I’m also a diehard member of #TeamSoak. Soaking dishes for a few moments makes life so much easier for the person in charge of washing/scrubbing! I’ll stop myself here before I get too carried away…